April 2012
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March 2012
134 posts
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If Rick Santorum gets elected...
stfuconservatives:
maxwelletc:
“Each year the homosexuals, independent women, and porn-viewers will offer up 24 tributes to fight to the death in an arena…”
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The United States of America on college education
Student: I'm not going to go to college because I don't want to go into debt.
USA: YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. YOU'RE GOING TO AMOUNT TO NOTHING YOU FUCKING SCUMBAG. YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY TAXES ARE SO HIGH.
Student: I'm just going to attend a small community college instead.
USA: HAHAHA YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO GET INTO A GOOD UNIVERSITY. ENJOY YOUR MCDONALD'S DIPLOMA.
Student: I attended a four year university and received a diploma in a field I am interested in. Now I am $50,000+ in debt.
USA: YOU DUMBASS. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GO TO COLLEGE WHEN YOU KNOW YOU COULDN'T AFFORD IT? YOU DIDN'T EVEN CHOOSE A USEFUL MAJOR EITHER. GOD PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME SICK.
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Dear Coquette: On a shitty professor. →
dearcoquette:
Okay, so we were talking about marriage and what it means in class today. The professor is of the opinion that if two men or two women can be legally married, then why can’t we permit a marriage between two sisters or between father and son? My first reaction was a categorical “no”, but then I…
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If Republican presidential candidates were a wine...
Waiter: What would you like?
Me: Well, I was in the mood for some internal misogyny.
Waiter: We have a fine Bachmann 2012. Not as spicy as the Palin '08 but...
Me: Well actually, do you have anything with really strong tinges of racism?
Waiter: Well the Paul '88 was, of course, legendary. The racism in the Paul '12 is much more subtle but make no mistake, it's still there. The Paul doesn't really work without at least a hint of racism on the nose. I also hear the Perry is...
Me: You know, I haven't had anything with a strong misplaced family values base since the Bush '04.
Waiter: Oh well then, sir, you'll want to sample both the Romney and the Gingrich. Although, while they both say 'contains family values' on the label, you really have to hold it back in the throat and inhale to even find a trace of it.
Me: What if I just want something kind of different but vaguely familiar at the same time, that will leave me somewhat confused or possibly disturbed?
Waiter: The Cain is new but I doubt it'll stay in stock long.
Me: I dunno, Do you have anything frothy?
Waiter: It's your lucky day.
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OMG Facts *official tumblr*: The Beatles wanted to... →
omgfactsofficial:
The Beatles wanted to star in a film version of the Lord of the Rings. They wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct
Kubrick, of course is one of the best movie directors that ever lived. Some of his best known movies are ‘2001: A Space Odyssey,’ ‘A Clockwork Orange,’ and ‘The Shining.’ When the film…
this would’ve been awesome.
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On marginalia.
dearcoquette:
I loaned out my copy of The Ethical Slut and never got it back, so I bought a used copy online. On page 21, somebody had underlined “we don’t have a polyamorous Miss Manners telling us how to do our thing courteously and respectfully ” and scribbled COKE TALK in the margins. The feeling I got from that bit of marginalia was worth every goddamn dollar I spent and then some.
I love...
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The 5th GIF in your folder with text is your most...
thegifinyourfolder:
Submitted by: fairytales-and-sunkenlies
because bunny suits have taken on a whole new meaning for me.
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The Absolute Funniest Posts!: How roll call will... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
Teacher: Welcome to class students! Please say “here” when I call your name Teacher: Albus Albus: Here! Teacher: Doctor Doctor: Oh, yes, uhm, hello. I can’t talk at the moment, time’s gone wibbly. Probably leave a message at the tone or something Teacher: Uhm… okay? Hermione Hermione: Yes,…
so this is what it feels like to finally understand all of tumblr.
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